Go to the Nations: Why We Stayed

As a teen in the eighties, I thought God was calling me to missions. God had eclipsed everything else before my eyes, so I surrendered and prayed, “What do you want me to do with my life?” Then a single missionary woman with big hair and a Colgate-commercial smile spoke at my family’s Methodist church. As a deep thinker who didn’t trust people who perpetually smiled, I wondered if I had misunderstood God's call. I started a club to welcome international students to my high school, befriended a girl from a family of Cambodian refugees, and became enthralled by Dostoevsky in English class.

None of my classmates liked the psychological Russian literature, but I felt I had entered a world I belonged to, a world I wanted to interact with and live in as a messenger of God’s potent, loving, eternal prescription for people’s suffering and pain. Turns out the vast, mysterious Soviet Union that had loomed large for as long as I could remember ended and missionaries flooded in. However, very few stayed. So my Trotsky-looking husband, who shares the same heart and sense of calling, and I moved to Ukraine with our baby daughter.

During its shambolic infancy, Ukrainians, hungry for spirituality and truth, readily prayed to receive Christ when we ministered openly on the streets and in public squares. They treasured their gift, a New Testament, like a bar of gold since getting their hands on a Bible was previously almost impossible. In the evenings during a week of outreach, we preached the Gospel at the Dominican Church, which was the former museum of religion and atheism during Soviet times. The inscription on the church, Soli Deo Honor et Gloria, became reality once again as we exalted God with honor and glory to all who came. We were thrilled to be a part of this amazing season of freedom and harvest.

Despite persecution, the underground church in Ukraine was robust. Many Christians we met were heroes of the faith whose relatives had been imprisoned.  Worship in churches was reminiscent of African American communities at the end of slavery. The songs, sung in minor chords, were mixed with tears and joy. As our church formed and we began to disciple people, we learned the reasons for the tears. Stories of pain poured out of people’s souls. Several times during prayer meetings, women who were believers during Soviet times wept with deep regret for their children who grew up with little to no knowledge of God. Out of fear, many did not teach their children the Bible, pray, or share their faith.

As a church we embraced the mission to reach the next generation.

Then we hit a wall. During an outreach in a region of Soviet-built, Lego-like high-rises, three hundred young people stood in an auditorium to commit their lives to Christ. The day before our team befriended groups of students outside the school where we held our evening meeting. The director of the school liked us, so he announced our meeting to the students. My husband, Mike, preached the Gospel with conviction and we were blown away by the students’ spiritual hunger and readiness to accept the Gospel. But within days a powerful person in the region shut us down. The only place willing to rent a room to us was in a remote area without heat during sub-zero winter temperatures. With heavy hearts, we entrusted the precious young people to God and walked away.

Undaunted, we became adept at finding open doors and developed methods, such as life coaching, to engage young people. In recent years, young people have been increasingly open to discussions about God and spirituality as well as caring mentoring as they face uncertainty in a destabilized world.  After years of missionaries serving in Ukraine, our seven churches are now all led by Ukrainians. Their perspectives and influence will take the churches further than we can go. Among their ministries, they have started rehabilitation centers to aid the epidemic number of drug addicts and alcoholics and provided humanitarian and spiritual aid to the poor in the Carpathian Mountain villages.

Yet Europe still desperately needs for missionaries to answer the call.

Panning out to broader Europe, the institutional church is in decline, functioning only as a veneer with a weak impact on culture. The 2012 Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion and Public Life shows that seventy-five percent of Europeans call themselves Christians, but according to another study, only around four percent follow Jesus and demonstrate a concern about the people around them following Jesus. And some researchers project that by the year 2050 one in every five Europeans will be Muslim. Since the majority of Europeans have never heard the Gospel explained in a relevant way, hope lies in Christians who will live out their faith incarnationally and present compelling reasons for their faith.

Ed Stetzer, Caleb Crider and Larry McCrary outlined five imperatives for church planting in Europe from observing successful trends, stating:

“We believe that Europe is one of the most strategic places in the world at this moment for evangelism. While there are glimmers of hope in Europe, by and large the national churches have declined so much that they no longer have the sending power that they once possessed. Therefore, the lost populations of Europe need people from other parts of the world to come and offer them the hope of the gospel in a relevant way.” 

Church planting must:

1. Be missional/incarnational 

Bold Gospel presentation to people in whom you are socially and spiritually invested.

2. Value tribes 

These existing social circles are churches waiting to happen.

3. Be indigenous 

As long as it is a foreign faith, church, and Gospel, it will not be adopted in any influential sort of way. Leadership must be (at least, in part) local and tribal.

4. Be Spirit led 

Even our very best and innovative strategies are worthless if we're not walking in step-by-step obedience to His Word and Spirit. 

5. Have a mindset to reproduce

If a new church will think about how to reproduce itself from the onset and put that in their strategy, then we will see churches move toward multiplication.

(Why Europe? by Stetzer, Crider and McCrary)

Grace for Young Moms

If I have any sage advice to offer young mothers, I will have to travel back five international moves ago and try to remember what life was like when I was a new mother. When you have a baby, not only does your world rock cataclysmically, but also your body has just been inhabited, used as a rocket launcher to usher new life into the world, and become exhausted in the process. No experience in life is remotely similar. But shouldn’t the heralding of a new life into the world be, well, intense? The passion that let up to it was probably also intense.

As amazing and transformational as it is, the mundane settles in quickly and your world suddenly shrinks to the existence of two people: you and your baby, with an occasional, tired nod to your wonderful husband. While you are trying to navigate new waters, the doting grandmothers and others are sure to offer their help and advice. Usually you welcome it, but sometimes you realize differing views have formed from poring over pages and pages of books while pregnant. You are not a know it all, but you do want it recognized that you have done your homework. You experience unsurpassed, holy moments as you hold your adorable baby and witness many “firsts”. But you also experience the uncharted territory of emotions brought on by sleepless nights, a body that doesn’t seem to bounce back quickly enough to your pre-pregnancy figure and perkiness, and a sense that you have lost your freedom.  

When you watch your husband tenderly love your child, you discover new facets of him that cause you to love him more. And when your child is sick or in danger, your heart stops as you experience a greater degree of unselfish love than you have ever known before. In this way, you catch a greater glimpse of the love God has for us.

But before I offer advice, let me address the idea of  “normal”. Normal is derived from a frame of reference and many women are facing unprecedented new normals such as parenting alone, becoming a mother later in life, trying to balance motherhood with one or more jobs, or finding themselves jobless when they need to work. Some go through depression. Some experience long-term fatigue.  Still, God’s grace penetrating our individual worlds is the primary and lasting answer. My normal was mothering our two girls as babies and toddlers while living in Ukraine during its chaotic infancy after it became independent from the Soviet Union. I was stretched beyond my own strength many times. Far from extended family, our little family unit bonded closely while we forged community with people there through doing life together, serving God together and walking through hardship together. My greatest adventures did not end with motherhood, they had only just begun. 

Here is my advice:

Give yourself and your marriage grace.

Adjusting to this new stage in life takes time. Don’t place unrealistic expectations on yourself or your husband. You may have to pare down your schedule and say no to things. Only a few things are really essential and important. As you settle into a routine, hopefully before your child is five years old, you do have to make time for your marriage. We had a date night every week when our girls were young. When we lived in Ukraine, our dates were very romantic since we could afford ballets and our favorite café’s with live music. At other times, we carved out a date at home, which could be just as nice. 

Embrace the season, it passes quickly. I know this sounds cliché, but it does.

This stage in life is only a season. I often look back on the years when my children were young and remember how precious and fleeting those years were. This may not help when you are tired or overwhelmed, but you may have younger or older friends who are in a different season that can offer help and encouragement. The multi-generational family of God helps us gain perspective when we are losing it. And we all do sometimes.

Even though you are new a mom, be yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.

You probably go through more changes during your twenties than any other time in life. For many modern young women, you pursue your dreams in college, find your soul mate, marry and become pregnant over a relatively brief period of time. This was my experience. I became a mother at twenty four. I remember worrying that I would have to morph into a domestic diva. Even though I cook, enjoy hosting people, and can decorate my home nicely, when I spend time with friends I don’t want to talk about those things. I want to talk about books, the news, or some aspect of faith. I had to learn not to feel guilty about this and to find friends who will connect with me over these things. This became easier as a missionary living overseas. I asked one of my favorite people, Nadia, a Ukrainian who is my mother’s age how she stayed young and vibrant. She said she doesn’t care what people think. She doesn’t bother with comparisons. I also know she pursues her passion as an artist and serves people through her ministry to the poor in the Carpathian Mountains.

Express gratitude and appreciation daily.

I cherished the moments I spent with God in the mornings when my children were young. Sometimes those times were pushed into the evening when my husband was home and available to help, but God was and is the anchor for my soul. Sometimes I would go to a park bench in Lviv, Ukraine near our flat to read, pray and take in the beauty of my surroundings. The simple truths, wonder of life, and the daily adventure I was on with God gave me joy. And many joys came through the uninhibited wonder and discovery I witnessed in my girls

Lastly, no matter what you accomplish in life, you will never regret the time you spend with your children. Because of it, your children can be some of your greatest joys throughout life.

Stability When We Don't Undersand: Faith like Abraham

Change is human. So is insecurity. We are riddled with it. We cannot find within ourselves a fixed point, an anchor, for our own souls. We can change with the weather, the news, or a bad doctor’s report. We stand for the first time on wobbly legs, elated, and are thrilled as we take our first steps, never slowing down in a frenzied rush to grow up. To experience. To explore. To find love. To find meaning. Then we dig in our heels wishing time would slow down with the discovery of our first gray hair or the departure of our firstborn for college. We live inside of time, measuring it out in twenty-four hour cadences, ever mindful of the process of decay and proclivity towards sin. We despise change at times, yet are confined to it. The ability to imagine better days is a gift helping us move forward. Without an immutable anchor for our souls, we would drift at sea in an ever-changing world and drown in waves of uncertainty.

Where do we find an anchor?

It is not within the character of God to change. We can fully trust in God because nothing will change in His very essence – His being, perfection, purposes, or promises. He is not subject to any limitations of humanity or creation. God is simultaneously infinite and personal. He is far greater than anything in existence, yet we can relate to Him intimately through prayer, worship and obedience in response to His love. He speaks to us, rejoices in us and loves us. He is the same God who related intimately to David and Moses. He is the same God who called Gideon and answered his requests due to his human frailty to confirm His calling. He is the same God who converted Paul, who answered the prayers of countless people to save, heal, provide for and protect them.

Can we have the same close fellowship with God that people enjoyed in biblical times? Remember, God has not changed. If we peer into the story of redemption through the encounter God had with Abraham when He asked him to sacrifice his son, Isaac, we can see the heart of God to save by ultimately sending His own son as a final sacrifice for sin. God who is holy cannot allow sin and must pronounce judgment. That judgment and wrath fell on Jesus Christ on the cross, ending the continual need of sacrifices for sin.

Therefore, we can draw near to God at any time, in any place, without guilt because of the forgiveness we receive in Him. We stand before God as holy and blameless even while we are being made holy, while we are being conformed to the image of His Son. If we want to interact with God on a hilltop like David, in an ornate sanctuary, in a hospital room or war zone, He will draw near to us as promised. If we want to talk demonstratively and sing to Him like Tevye in “Fiddler on the Roof”, we can. If we want to whisper or pray silently in our hearts, He understands the depths of our hearts, interpreting our thoughts and intentions. Then and now, God is moved by faith and desires for us to seek Him.

Like Abraham, God wants to bring us into His heart and purposes. Abraham became the father of faith, not because he was perfect, but because he believed God. “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” (Romans 4:3) He did not withhold his own son, while trusting that God would provide a sacrifice or perhaps raise him from the dead. This was a foreshadowing of Jesus’ resurrection. Whoever heard of such a thing at that time? The audacity of his faith. We can be glad today that the resurrection is not a myth, fairy tale or crutch. It is ancient fact.

Yes, it is possible to have the same close fellowship as we embark on this wild and risky journey of faith. As C.S. Lewis said about the lion Aslan, a type of Christ, “He's not safe, but he's good.” What is the risk? He requires complete surrender, but we can trust Him. He is mighty good – a refining, holy fire, yet loving and good.

If anyone has moved away, we have. We live in an unprecedented age of complexity amidst a multitude of distractions and enticements. Yet we can find ourselves empty and alone unless our primary need for a relationship with God is met.

Silence the “shoulds”, come away and ask yourself these questions:

• Do I hear God speaking to me? 
• What is He inviting me to? 
• How will I respond? 

He desires to relate to us and lead us on a journey of faith today.

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

Two Amish Farmers, A Hegelian Hipster and the Death of God

It was a lazy small-town Saturday in Tennessee, so I expected to meander through the day with nothing out of the ordinary happening. I certainly did not expect an encounter with a Hegelian hipster and two Amish farmers, a fitting metaphor for our times, but such is our journey; the unusual has become usual in our lives. Sometimes I think elves, if they were real, would come out of the woodwork just for us. 


My husband and I ventured into the countryside to enjoy lunch at one of our favorite restaurants in a rustic, yet elegant house where the food is prepared fresh from the bounty of local organic farms. After we decided to splurge and order a slice of strawberry cake, I noticed a painting above the mantle and began to write.


Bucolic Babe (based on the painting “Kohler’s Pig”)

I casually glance up from my menu 
At a nondescript landscape
So it seems
Yet something draws me deeper
Standard trees, grass, murky pond
Sky and clouds, don’t speak
Not a picnic spot I would seek
Amateur painting 101
Then I notice him
At the end of the pier, his pink body 
Sleek
Jutting out over the water
Like an arrow pointing skyward 
Every muscle in his body, taut
The epitome of determination
We form a solid understanding 
Of one another

I remember how the farmer and pig in Babe 
Regarded one another
My pig is an arrow 
Shooting in space
Hog wild with finesse
Chutzpah, he possesses
Not wanting to be a ham, a piece of meat
I, too, wish to defy surroundings
I, too, sometimes think 
By sheer force 
I can
Leap into what I envision
Damn gravity
Guess you and I will have to find wings

Leap of faith as if 
A landing will appear out of nil 
Faith is
Substance of what is hoped for
Conviction of what is beyond that hill
Or maybe he just wanted to take a dip

Meanwhile, out of the farm stepped two bearded Amish farmers who supply our special lunch spot with grass-fed beef and dairy. They sat down at the table beside us near my pig and proceeded to order. In walked our hipster waiter who sat down to converse with them since it’s that kind of place and it was that kind of day. So pull up a chair and lean in.

This conversation provides a snapshot of the inquisitive, skeptical, yet bruised young generation of the Western world that bristles at absolutes and serves as a reminder that we must patiently and lovingly engage them in conversations about God and the meaning of life. They are open and we must relentlessly believe we can reach them.

Hegelian hipster: 
I have been reading something interesting and I want to know what you think. I found this book about death of God theology. I’m really into it. It fascinates me. The idea is that when Jesus died on the cross, God’s transcendence was poured out into humanity so that God is no longer “out there,” but only immanent within us. So I started thinking atheism and Christianity are basically the same. Isn’t that interesting?

Amish farmer 1: 
So is Mad Magazine. It sounds like you are into it. Have you heard of Hegelian philosophy?

Hegelian hipster: 
Yes, I have read some Hegel.

Amish farmer 1: 
I think he was a fool and should have been castrated. You cannot equate atheism and Christianity. 

Missionary 1 (my husband): 
Hegelian philosophy states that there is no right or wrong thesis, but a synthesis of two opposing ideologies.

Hegelian hipster: 
But see, if God poured himself out on mankind and died, then we don’t have to search for meaning any more. We are free to look at this life only. It is liberating to realize we don’t have to do this religious dance. Chew on that for a moment. 

Amish farmer 1: 
You chew on that; we’ll chew on our food.

Hegelian dude returns with dessert.

Missionary 1: 
But consider for a moment what actually happened in history. Jesus was born, worked as a carpenter, performed miracles before numerous witnesses, led a sinless life and died on the cross to bear the sin of the world. After his death his body was still in the guarded tomb when He was resurrected. After he came to life again, one of His disciples touched his wounds and He ate fish among them. It really took place. He did claim to be God, and He did not remain dead. We have to look squarely at these facts and consider the ramifications.

Hegelian hipster: 
You have a point. But when I go to church I see all of this nonsense sometimes, like the church is trying to sell a product just like the world. It’s all competing: cars, women, and God. It gets so confusing and tiring. It seems simpler to think of it this way.

Amish farmer 1: 
If you look at the writings of William Blake, he wanted this kind of freedom as well. He wanted free love, but love costs something. 

Hegelian hipster: 
Maybe, but this death of God idea is interesting.

Hegelian dude gets called away.

Amish farmer 2: 
Our friend is a seeker. When you have accepted Christ, you see it all from a different perspective and find love, peace, deep joy and truth.
Hegelian dude returns.

Missionary 2 (me): 
I do understand how you can become disillusioned by how religion sometimes plays out in culture. We lived in Eastern Europe for many years where people commonly endure great hardship. We never portrayed God in a formulaic way like a genie who gives whatever you ask for of a self-help guru who offers your best life now. God himself is the treasure, offering peace and joy in the very midst of suffering. He also provides the only way for forgiveness and new life. But it is a narrow way. It is His way because He is God, not we ourselves. People today are looking for an authentic faith that touches real issues. The God of the Bible hasn’t changed, yet He relates to us where we are today. 

Hegelian hipster: 
Yes, what you are saying makes me think of Bonhoeffer. I read his “Letters and Papers from Prison”.

Missionary 1: 
Yes, Bonhoeffer suffered for his faith and for the decisions he made to stand up for what was right during the Third Reich. He taught that discipleship, or following Jesus, comes at a cost. He said “cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate." And Jesus Christ is not an abstraction. He is alive, offering salvation today and inviting us to follow Him.

I draw the velvet curtains on this conversation and end with this excerpt from a letter Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote from prison on an Easter Sunday many years ago. He knew the hope of ultimate victory and joy through trusting in the resurrected Son of God, even from a prison cell.

Easter Sunday April 25, 1943

“My dear Parents,

Today ten days have finally passed, and I am allowed to write to you once again. I would really like to let you know that I am celebrating a happy Easter here. What is so liberating about Good Friday and Easter is the fact that our thoughts are pulled far beyond our personal circumstances to the ultimate meaning of all life, suffering, and indeed everything that happens, and this gives us great hope.”